expectations.

"We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. The expected is just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives."

--Ellen Pompeo as Dr. Meredith Grey

This quote comes from Episode 13, Season 3 of Grey's Anatomy. Derek expected to be Chief Webber's successor as Chief of Surgery but the latter instead asked Burke (my crush), Burke unexpectedly proposed to Cristina (sigh!), and Webber's wife's refusal for reconciliation just when he expected that its not yet late to retire to save his family.

Expectations.

Yeah, I feel bad when things don't go the way I expected them to be. Like when someone promised me of something and failed to do so, or when I planned for a specific thing to happen and went the other way around. Maybe because I'm a dominant person, I like to be in control. And when things go way out of hand than I intend to, its disappointing. Sometimes a bit frustrating. Ironically though, I feel bad when someone expects me to do something that should be done VOLUNTARILY.

Last night I went through this scenario.

I was hurt because I was expected to be someone I'm not. I guess I'm used to people accepting my flaws and adjusting to me being a brat. That's why whenever I hear someone venting out about my negative side, I can't help but feel bad. Being the non-vocal that I am, I always tend to keep mum...because well, there's really nothing to say. This is me, take it or leave it. I let it slide, primarily because I hate arguments. And part of me believes that unexpected things will happen that will fix everything up. Like we'll just knowingly smile about it and learn from it without really discussing it again.

Expectations are good, it reminds us that we are human who are bound to be disappointed and then smile when the much better unexpected comes along.