On Gaining Weight

I have always been insecure of how I look. Maybe this is partly because I hang out a lot with friends who are models and stylists and I sometimes feel a little awkward when the topic is all about fashion and beauty. Because I was never that kind of girl. I always dress for comfort and rarely put makeup on, heck I even hate shopping -- it was just not my thing.

Anyway, over the past couple of months I have gotten used to people coming up to me and tell me how fat I've become. At first I really don't mind, because it is true. I really did gain a LOT of weight since 2009 and most people who knew me back in grade school and high school were surprised to see me because I used to be buto't balat before.

This is me back in 2006.

This is me now. August 2011.

However, gaining weight and telling me that I am close to obesity is a different story. Being insecure that I am, you can then imagine my reaction when someone commented on my Facebook photos and said that I am overly fat and that my older pics are better than the recent ones. I was never really that sensitive on things like that (because like I said, I really DID gain weight), but I guess it's a little sickening to hear it every now and then and I find it rude to sort of slap it to my face every chance they get.

I am "too fat?" Seriously?? I may not be skinny, yes, but I'm not fat either. The media may bombard us with Kim Chiu-thin bodies but I am not falling for that kind of craze. I have curves. And it is irritating to think that there are people out there who consider my fuller figure to be "too fat." I love to eat, and maybe if I lose the rice -- my waistline will go down to 26 instead of the current 29, but I am not OBSESSED to achieve that goal. Bottomline is, I am not in perfect shape, but I am not at my worst.

And as much as I wish I could rock today's fashion like a size 2 or size 3 model, I don't actually want to be skinny. I mean, do I look the way I want to look? No, I don't. But given this or my figure five years ago, I'd gladly refuse to turn back time. I may not have the ideal body that everyone drools over, but I am OKAY with it. So I don't get it why some people seem to have a problem with it.

That’s enough for me. I’ve spent too much of my life putting myself down. I’m not going to do it anymore.

Remembering Steve Jobs, 1955-2011

Much has already been said upon the death of Apple co-founder Steve Jobs and until now I still feel sad about the passing of the greatest tech leader of our generation. Some may think I am stupid for being so busted up at the death of someone I never met, but I guess I look up to him so much that I feel sad because I wouldn't get to hear his amazing words of wisdom anymore.

I know that most people regard him as the man behind great products such as iPhone, iPad and all other Apple products, but Jobs is actually credited with a LOT of things in the world of computing. If not for him, personal computers might still be running in DOS-mode. Can you imagine a computer without a mouse and a graphical user interface? Jobs invented or co-invented a wide range of technologies, from actual computer and portable devices to keyboards, power adapters, staircases and speakers. His total patented technologies are over 300. Freakin' genious.

If I were to ask you, how will you remember Steve Jobs? By his revolutionary products such as iPhone and Mac? His trademark black turtleneck longsleeves and jeans attire? Through the movie "Pirates of Silicon Valley?" There are sooooo many things that remind us of him, but among all that are his memorable quotes that tell us that Steve Jobs is one heck of a legend. Here are some of my favorite quotes by this creative genious:

"We made the buttons on the screen look so good you'll want to lick them." -- on Mac OS X's Aqua user interface (Fortune, Jan. 24, 2000)

"It's rare that you see an artist in his 30s or 40s able to really contribute something amazing."
-- At age 29, as quoted in Playboy (February 1985)

"Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water or do you want a chance to change the world?"
-- A comment he made in persuading John Sculley to become Apple's CEO.

"You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new."
-- Interview with Inc. Magazine for its "The Entrepreneur of the Decade Award" (April 1989)

"Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me ... Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful... that's what matters to me."
-- On the success of Bill Gates and Microsoft, The Wall Street Journal (Summer 1993)

"Apple has some tremendous assets, but I believe without some attention, the company could, could, could — I’m searching for the right word — could, could die."
-– TIME, 1997

"I was worth about over a million dollars when I was twenty-three and over ten million dollars when I was twenty-four, and over a hundred million dollars when I was twenty-five and it wasn't that important because I never did it for the money."
-- PBS documentary "Triumph of the Nerds: The Rise of Accidental Empires" (1996)

"Nobody has tried to swallow us since I've been here. I think they are afraid how we would taste."
-- At the annual Apple shareholder meeting (22 April 1998)



"We used to dream about this stuff. Now we get to build it. It's pretty great."
-- Keynote address at the Apple Worldwide Developers Conference (June 2004)

"Every once in a while a revolutionary product comes along that changes everything. It's very fortunate if you can work on just one of these in your career." 
-- Announcing the introduction of the iPhone (9 January 2007)

"It’s not about pop culture, and it’s not about fooling people, and it’s not about convincing people that they want something they don’t. We figure out what we want. And I think we’re pretty good at having the right discipline to think through whether a lot of other people are going to want it, too. That’s what we get paid to do."
-- On Apple's connection with the consumer (Fortune, March 2008)

"I make 50 cents for showing up... and the other 50 cents is based on my performance."
-- On his famous $1 annual salary, at the annual Apple shareholder meeting in 2007

"Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
-– Stanford University, 2005 Commencement Address



"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
-- Stanford University, 2005 Commencement Address

Whether you love or hate Apple, you gotta admit -- Steve Jobs indeed changed the world.

Thank you, Sir Steve.

If I Could Talk To A 20-Year Old Me

Because I worked in the call center industry for 4 years before moving to IT, I am already used to friends and acquaintances randomly come up to me for suggestions on working/surviving in a call center. Two months ago, a friend's younger brother approached me asking for advice on which BPO company offers the best work environment and career growth.

He told me that he wants to start a career soon but doesn't know where to start. "I want to be a trainer in the long run, but I'm not sure which company to go."

He began asking one question after the next:

"What do you do in your job right now?"
"How did you jump from call center to IT?"
"Why did you do this? Why didn't you do that?"
"Are you happy with where you are now?"

We started talking pretty frequent and this question-and-answer portion went on on a regular basis. I answered his questions as best as I could, and tried to give decent advice based on what I have gone through in my career and life in general.

After a bit of thinking though, I realized that those conversations were actually quite nostalgic for me. He reminded me of myself five years ago. So I started thinking about his questions again, and I began imagining how someone would've told me the answers to those questions when I was starting out.

If only I could turn back time, here are the 11 things I wish someone taught me five years ago:

1. Find work you love doing. If I could offer my younger self some real career advice, I'd tell myself not to choose a course based on someone else's recommendations, or because it's popular or is said to make more money. I would tell myself that the right career choice is based on a single factor: Find work you love doing. It may sound such a cliche, but finding success through passion is realistic and attainable. Don't wait for 20 or 30 years waking up and regretting being in a career you don't enjoy doing. As Steve Jobs says: "Find the work that you love, and you will never have to work at all."

2. Take risks. Everyone is allowed to make mistakes. Mistakes teach us a lesson. I used to be afraid of taking risks in fear of making a mistake, and I still partly am until now. But I have come to accept that in life, it is not about getting a chance, but about taking a chance. I would advise the younger me that yes, doing something will not guarantee that it will work 100%, but you can be 100% sure that doing nothing won't work.

3. Accept that change is constant. What you have or do right now, no matter how good or bad it is, it will change. It's the reality of life, and I wish someone had told me that sooner. It took me a while to accept that changes happen for a reason, and it won't always come easy. But in the end, it will always be worth it.

4. Don't worry too much about what people think about you. For the most part, what other people think shouldn't matter. When I was 20, I was paranoid of what other people think of me. It even affected some of the major decisions I made in life. Sure, you have to behave in a certain way that is acceptable to the eyes of people you care about. But not to the point that it will compromise your ideas and goals. I used to be that person who let the opinion of others make or break me. Later on in life I realized that this is a foolish way to live. What other people say is not important, what matters is how you feel about it.

5. Decide fast, and act upon it. It is true, opportunities knock only once (or maybe twice if you are lucky), so seize them while it's there and take action. Nothing will happen if you sit and do nothing while everyone else is out to receive their grace. Bear in mind that there is a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it. Don't rave about that knowledge that you have because it is basically useless unless you use them.

6. Speak out. People are not mind readers. If you don't feel good about something, don't hesitate to speak up because people will never know how you feel unless you tell them. Your boss? Yeah he doesn't know that you want to move up the ladder because you never told him so. That pretty girl you like but too shy to ask? Well, you guessed it right, she will never go out with you because there is no question to answer "Yes" to. In work or in life, you have to work on your vocal cords if you want things to happen. Simple.

7. Talk to lots of people as early as now. Friends of friends. Professors. Colleagues. Bosses. A medical student friend. Old classmates. Practically everyone in your Facebook! Why? Professional networking. While it's still early, having so many people in your network is a huge advantage. Lucky for me I was able to build mine early on, and I was offered several career opportunities as a result of this. Always remember that when employers look for people to fill positions, the first they do is ask recommendations from people they trust. Overtime, your current network and the associated opportunities will be a snowball for the duration of your career.

8. Live with integrity. For a career-driven person, reputation matters. And to get the respect and trust of the people around you, you have to maintain a good reputation by living with integrity. Be honest to yourself because being honest creates peace of mind. And trust me, having peace of mind is oh-so priceless!

9. Respect other people and make them feel good. As they say, respect begets respect. Elders, minors, strangers, -- everyone deserve to be respected. One of life's greatest rewards is the ability to touch other people's lives in simple ways. It is such a humbling experience to make someone's day just because you did a small thing for them. Trust me, it will come back sooner than you think.

10. Excel at what you do. There's no point in doing something if you aren't gonna do it right. As soon as you found out who you were born to be, develop a reputation for excellence. Don't waste your life doing mediocre things, always challenge yourself to up the ante and be a better person, whether professionally or personally.

11. Stay hungry, stay foolish. I got to watch Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address early last year and it was the most eye-opening grad speeches I have heard in my life. His last line got stuck to me ever since: Stay hungry, stay foolish. And it made perfect sense. One of the greatest adventures in life is our ability to ask questions to people who've been there. I hope that everyone realize that everything that we want to know all boils down to asking the right questions, to the right people.

I have to admit, I have done a LOT of mistakes in the past, and there are some things I wish I hadn't done. If only someone had told me these things earlier, I would've lived a more meaningful life. But hey, who says it's too late already? :)

Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Love deeply and forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything and have no regrets. Life is too short to be unhappy. You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you should, love what you got and always remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget. Learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong. But always remember, life goes on. -Unknown

X.O.,
Kat :)

Do You Think You're Pretty?

There is an unspoken rule that most girls abide by which I think was taught to us by jealous insecure bitches. It's known as the "Pretend You Don't Know You Are Pretty" rule and if you think otherwise then expect everyone to consider you conceited or "feelingera." So what's a girl to do who doesn't want to seem conceited while also not coming across as insecure?

CONFIDENCE. Everyone knows they should have it, but for some reason -- boys have it and most girls don't. If you are one of the many who don't have it, then let me inform you that most people who carry this trait have more friends than you, have better social life and have higher paying jobs.

Why is it that men were taught to carry this trait and should maintain a high opinion of themselves (sometimes a little too much--hello cocky guys!) whereas girls grew up knowing that they should never acknowledge their beauty out loud or else they are considered self-absorbed and egotistical? Think of the movie "Mean Girls" when the popular bitch Regina George makes Cady think that she is wrong for thinking that she is actually a pretty girl.

Personally, it annoys me whenever I compliment someone and they say things like "hindi kaya!" or "you think so?" and then goes on to complain about any unflattering thing that they have on their face or body. Same goes with people who are razor thin and sexy and then keeps telling everyone how FAT they are. Can you please just save that to the really -- I mean REALLY fat ones?

Most guys date you because they find you pretty and confident. But when they gave you a compliment stating that you are beautiful or gorgeous or really pretty you just shrug it off instead of saying thank you. There is nothing wrong with believing that you are a beautiful woman -- self-confidence and cockiness are two VERY different things. So the next time someone compliments you, smile and take it because there is nothing more unflattering than a girl who doesn't know her own worth.

So you agree? You think you're really pretty? Or do you shrug off a compliment in fear of being considered conceited?

Find What You Love

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better & better as the years roll on."
- Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Inc. and of Pixar Animation Studios

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a store cashier. I would turn our living room into a supermarket, put price tags on all our furniture, and my playmate (now my best friend) Kathy would be the pretend-customer. During grade school, I then shifted my interest into being a teacher. My younger brother and sister would be my students and I would "discuss" to them a literary text my teacher actually read to us in class.

As I grow older, I began to enjoy reading novels (from Sweet Valley in 6th grade to Harry Potter in high school) -- and so for the 3rd time I had a change of heart and wanted to become a writer/journalist. But, even though I enjoy writing so much, I did not believe that I should make a career out of it and so in college I took a managerial course instead. After college, I went on to become a technical professional for a large computer company, became a supervisor at 22 y/o, got bored and eventually left.

If I am gonna sum up my career goal into one word, it'll be CONFUSING. I mean, I knew that I want a career in IT and all things geek, I just can't point out what exactly it is. For several years I have this frustration of trying to place myself where I exactly fit in.

I know I am not the only one who had (or is having) this dilemma. Many college students graduating have NO idea what they want to do for living. They just went to college because, well it was the next logical thing to do after high school. Now that they graduated, the real world has shocked them. Their degree is no longer as valuable as they thought it was.

We've all heard it a million times in a million different ways.

"Discover what you love to do."

"Pursue your passion."

"Find work you enjoy doing."

And as cliche as all these sounds, it makes perfect sense. As Steve Jobs said, work makes up a majority of your life so it only makes sense to do the work you like doing and to get paid for doing it as well. One of the keys to happiness — is finding work that you’re passionate about. Work you want to do, instead of just have to do. Because if you really want to do it, it barely seems like work at all.

Thankfully, I’ve finally found that work. I don’t drag my feet to go to work anymore, instead I can’t wait to get up early and start working. I just wish I'd done it sooner, maybe at age 21 instead of 25.

I’m just one of many who’ve done that — there are people all over the world pursuing their dreams, working with passion, losing themselves in their work. Are you one of them? Do you want to be?

Seek what you love to do and be the best you can be at it. Don't settle.

On Loneliness

Of all the negative emotions, people seem most reluctant to admit to loneliness. It is often viewed by oneself as a character weakness and with a sense of shame. But then again, each one of us go through it at one point or another as it is a part of living in an imperfect world.

Now I honestly don't know if I am only imagining it, but I have always felt a little out of place with everyone. It doesn't matter who I'm with: friends, colleagues, or even with family. It's as if I don't fit in no matter where I am. I feel like Jenny Humphrey living in the Upper East Side. An outsider. Maybe because I am anti-social and a snob at times. Maybe because I am not the type who would take the initiative to introduce myself and make friends with new people. Because of this, I have grown to believe that people seemed uninterested to get to know me -- and that I am not worth being friends with.

It's not that I don't have any friends. I do. I also have the most supporting family anyone could ever ask for. But still, I am brave enough to admit that I grew up lonely. I did. And a lot of times, I still feel that way. Sometimes I feel that people around me are just forced to be nice to me -- and that my folks put up with my oddness because well, I'm their daughter.

Some may think that I am overreacting. Maybe I am. Maybe this is just something I made up in my head. Maybe I have always lowered my expectations on being socially accepted so as not to be disappointed. Or maybe I am simply not satisfied with who I've become. I wouldn't know. Or maybe, I refuse to know.

Whatever it is though, I feel lonely. I have a feeling that I probably always will. And while this realization saddens me, a part of me know that I am used to it. Maybe that's why I blog all the time, lock myself in my room on my free days and resort to all these social networking sites to see the world.

There's no point to this, really. It's just one of those days wherein I feel a little lonely and sad and decided to use my blog to let it out. I know I am a little crazy for sharing something this personal to everyone, but hey. Maybe you feel the same way. And if you do, well -- don't feel so bad. I feel it too.