justice will be served soon.

January 17th of 2009. 9:00AM. Parañaque Medical Center.

my dear friend's mom was dead on arrival, due to a knife that pierced her heart. she was stabbed in a crowded place early in the morning, and the whole family is in shock.

how could creatures that walk on two legs, with beating hearts and empty brains could do such an inhumane act? how could they steal someone else's life, as if money isn't enough? how could they still be just around the corner, and their souls not yet rotting in hell? it makes me shiver that they could be anyone. and they are out there, ready to kill anyone anywhere.

up until now it seems unimaginable to me. when i saw her lying in the casket, i closed my eyes and the night i last saw her flashed into my mind. it was tuesday night, slept over at their house as i frequently do ever since they came back from france, and she knocked at the door just checking on us. i remember smiling because i found it sweet of her to check on her daughter.

i know my friend is strong, and i'm sure she knows that her mom is in a better place now. no words can explain how worried i am for her, but i am positive that she'll soon see the light and heal in time. i still believe that there is justice in this country, and the truth will come out soon.

stabbed. ='(

of all the bad traits in the world, the one thing that i hate the most is back-stabbing. especially if you consider the person your friend. i may not be the most expressive person on earth, but i am transparent and i find it difficult to accept that some just can't help it but diss other people behind their backs. it's just not fair.

how would you feel if the people you're with EVERY SINGLE DAY suddenly just doesn't want to be with you and suddenly form groups you're not part of? you begin to ask, "WTF have i done to you guys? am i just being paranoid or i should trust my instincts? should i talk to them? act like nothing's wrong? or confront them?" normal reaction will be to act like nothing's wrong. until someone else notices it as well. then you begin to confirm: so it's not just me!

you can be shocked, depressed or mad. not with the things that they accuse you of, but the fact that you consider these people as your friends and yet NO ONE DARED to approach you and talk to you about it. suddenly you feel betrayed. no words of comfort could probably soothe the pain you're feeling.

and then you begin to realize that you can't please everybody. you are not born to be what they expected you to be. never ever believe that EVERYONE likes you. somewhere along the way, there will be at least one person on earth who will not like you or even loathe you for no reason at all. what can you do? nothing. just let it be. there are some people who might hate you the same time as you are hating others' asses.

it's really important not to trust anyone. you can have anyone as your companion, your gimik buddy.. but not everyone can be a true friend. boundaries should be set. know who to trust. it is sometimes better to be paranoid than be clueless. or else you could be crushed by anyone in no time.

...and it really really hurts.