If I Could Talk To A 20-Year Old Me

Because I worked in the call center industry for 4 years before moving to IT, I am already used to friends and acquaintances randomly come up to me for suggestions on working/surviving in a call center. Two months ago, a friend's younger brother approached me asking for advice on which BPO company offers the best work environment and career growth.

He told me that he wants to start a career soon but doesn't know where to start. "I want to be a trainer in the long run, but I'm not sure which company to go."

He began asking one question after the next:

"What do you do in your job right now?"
"How did you jump from call center to IT?"
"Why did you do this? Why didn't you do that?"
"Are you happy with where you are now?"

We started talking pretty frequent and this question-and-answer portion went on on a regular basis. I answered his questions as best as I could, and tried to give decent advice based on what I have gone through in my career and life in general.

After a bit of thinking though, I realized that those conversations were actually quite nostalgic for me. He reminded me of myself five years ago. So I started thinking about his questions again, and I began imagining how someone would've told me the answers to those questions when I was starting out.

If only I could turn back time, here are the 11 things I wish someone taught me five years ago:

1. Find work you love doing. If I could offer my younger self some real career advice, I'd tell myself not to choose a course based on someone else's recommendations, or because it's popular or is said to make more money. I would tell myself that the right career choice is based on a single factor: Find work you love doing. It may sound such a cliche, but finding success through passion is realistic and attainable. Don't wait for 20 or 30 years waking up and regretting being in a career you don't enjoy doing. As Steve Jobs says: "Find the work that you love, and you will never have to work at all."

2. Take risks. Everyone is allowed to make mistakes. Mistakes teach us a lesson. I used to be afraid of taking risks in fear of making a mistake, and I still partly am until now. But I have come to accept that in life, it is not about getting a chance, but about taking a chance. I would advise the younger me that yes, doing something will not guarantee that it will work 100%, but you can be 100% sure that doing nothing won't work.

3. Accept that change is constant. What you have or do right now, no matter how good or bad it is, it will change. It's the reality of life, and I wish someone had told me that sooner. It took me a while to accept that changes happen for a reason, and it won't always come easy. But in the end, it will always be worth it.

4. Don't worry too much about what people think about you. For the most part, what other people think shouldn't matter. When I was 20, I was paranoid of what other people think of me. It even affected some of the major decisions I made in life. Sure, you have to behave in a certain way that is acceptable to the eyes of people you care about. But not to the point that it will compromise your ideas and goals. I used to be that person who let the opinion of others make or break me. Later on in life I realized that this is a foolish way to live. What other people say is not important, what matters is how you feel about it.

5. Decide fast, and act upon it. It is true, opportunities knock only once (or maybe twice if you are lucky), so seize them while it's there and take action. Nothing will happen if you sit and do nothing while everyone else is out to receive their grace. Bear in mind that there is a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it. Don't rave about that knowledge that you have because it is basically useless unless you use them.

6. Speak out. People are not mind readers. If you don't feel good about something, don't hesitate to speak up because people will never know how you feel unless you tell them. Your boss? Yeah he doesn't know that you want to move up the ladder because you never told him so. That pretty girl you like but too shy to ask? Well, you guessed it right, she will never go out with you because there is no question to answer "Yes" to. In work or in life, you have to work on your vocal cords if you want things to happen. Simple.

7. Talk to lots of people as early as now. Friends of friends. Professors. Colleagues. Bosses. A medical student friend. Old classmates. Practically everyone in your Facebook! Why? Professional networking. While it's still early, having so many people in your network is a huge advantage. Lucky for me I was able to build mine early on, and I was offered several career opportunities as a result of this. Always remember that when employers look for people to fill positions, the first they do is ask recommendations from people they trust. Overtime, your current network and the associated opportunities will be a snowball for the duration of your career.

8. Live with integrity. For a career-driven person, reputation matters. And to get the respect and trust of the people around you, you have to maintain a good reputation by living with integrity. Be honest to yourself because being honest creates peace of mind. And trust me, having peace of mind is oh-so priceless!

9. Respect other people and make them feel good. As they say, respect begets respect. Elders, minors, strangers, -- everyone deserve to be respected. One of life's greatest rewards is the ability to touch other people's lives in simple ways. It is such a humbling experience to make someone's day just because you did a small thing for them. Trust me, it will come back sooner than you think.

10. Excel at what you do. There's no point in doing something if you aren't gonna do it right. As soon as you found out who you were born to be, develop a reputation for excellence. Don't waste your life doing mediocre things, always challenge yourself to up the ante and be a better person, whether professionally or personally.

11. Stay hungry, stay foolish. I got to watch Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address early last year and it was the most eye-opening grad speeches I have heard in my life. His last line got stuck to me ever since: Stay hungry, stay foolish. And it made perfect sense. One of the greatest adventures in life is our ability to ask questions to people who've been there. I hope that everyone realize that everything that we want to know all boils down to asking the right questions, to the right people.

I have to admit, I have done a LOT of mistakes in the past, and there are some things I wish I hadn't done. If only someone had told me these things earlier, I would've lived a more meaningful life. But hey, who says it's too late already? :)

Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Love deeply and forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything and have no regrets. Life is too short to be unhappy. You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you should, love what you got and always remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget. Learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong. But always remember, life goes on. -Unknown

X.O.,
Kat :)

Find What You Love

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better & better as the years roll on."
- Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Inc. and of Pixar Animation Studios

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a store cashier. I would turn our living room into a supermarket, put price tags on all our furniture, and my playmate (now my best friend) Kathy would be the pretend-customer. During grade school, I then shifted my interest into being a teacher. My younger brother and sister would be my students and I would "discuss" to them a literary text my teacher actually read to us in class.

As I grow older, I began to enjoy reading novels (from Sweet Valley in 6th grade to Harry Potter in high school) -- and so for the 3rd time I had a change of heart and wanted to become a writer/journalist. But, even though I enjoy writing so much, I did not believe that I should make a career out of it and so in college I took a managerial course instead. After college, I went on to become a technical professional for a large computer company, became a supervisor at 22 y/o, got bored and eventually left.

If I am gonna sum up my career goal into one word, it'll be CONFUSING. I mean, I knew that I want a career in IT and all things geek, I just can't point out what exactly it is. For several years I have this frustration of trying to place myself where I exactly fit in.

I know I am not the only one who had (or is having) this dilemma. Many college students graduating have NO idea what they want to do for living. They just went to college because, well it was the next logical thing to do after high school. Now that they graduated, the real world has shocked them. Their degree is no longer as valuable as they thought it was.

We've all heard it a million times in a million different ways.

"Discover what you love to do."

"Pursue your passion."

"Find work you enjoy doing."

And as cliche as all these sounds, it makes perfect sense. As Steve Jobs said, work makes up a majority of your life so it only makes sense to do the work you like doing and to get paid for doing it as well. One of the keys to happiness — is finding work that you’re passionate about. Work you want to do, instead of just have to do. Because if you really want to do it, it barely seems like work at all.

Thankfully, I’ve finally found that work. I don’t drag my feet to go to work anymore, instead I can’t wait to get up early and start working. I just wish I'd done it sooner, maybe at age 21 instead of 25.

I’m just one of many who’ve done that — there are people all over the world pursuing their dreams, working with passion, losing themselves in their work. Are you one of them? Do you want to be?

Seek what you love to do and be the best you can be at it. Don't settle.

On Loneliness

Of all the negative emotions, people seem most reluctant to admit to loneliness. It is often viewed by oneself as a character weakness and with a sense of shame. But then again, each one of us go through it at one point or another as it is a part of living in an imperfect world.

Now I honestly don't know if I am only imagining it, but I have always felt a little out of place with everyone. It doesn't matter who I'm with: friends, colleagues, or even with family. It's as if I don't fit in no matter where I am. I feel like Jenny Humphrey living in the Upper East Side. An outsider. Maybe because I am anti-social and a snob at times. Maybe because I am not the type who would take the initiative to introduce myself and make friends with new people. Because of this, I have grown to believe that people seemed uninterested to get to know me -- and that I am not worth being friends with.

It's not that I don't have any friends. I do. I also have the most supporting family anyone could ever ask for. But still, I am brave enough to admit that I grew up lonely. I did. And a lot of times, I still feel that way. Sometimes I feel that people around me are just forced to be nice to me -- and that my folks put up with my oddness because well, I'm their daughter.

Some may think that I am overreacting. Maybe I am. Maybe this is just something I made up in my head. Maybe I have always lowered my expectations on being socially accepted so as not to be disappointed. Or maybe I am simply not satisfied with who I've become. I wouldn't know. Or maybe, I refuse to know.

Whatever it is though, I feel lonely. I have a feeling that I probably always will. And while this realization saddens me, a part of me know that I am used to it. Maybe that's why I blog all the time, lock myself in my room on my free days and resort to all these social networking sites to see the world.

There's no point to this, really. It's just one of those days wherein I feel a little lonely and sad and decided to use my blog to let it out. I know I am a little crazy for sharing something this personal to everyone, but hey. Maybe you feel the same way. And if you do, well -- don't feel so bad. I feel it too.