second-best.

i never forgot what my guy friend told me about his ex: that she still teases him about me and that she does that as if SHE IS WAY BETTER THAN ME. i was shocked. i've always wanted to be friends with her and i know that she has a mean bone sometimes, but treating herself as if she was better than anyone? that was beyond i expected. first of all, i will never date my friend. secondly, she's an ex already why does she keep on insulting the girls he's with! i want my guy friend to be truly happy and i told him that i'm here to support him now that his mind suddenly went on hiatus with all the decision-making.

the girl's remark got me thinking on what it takes to be the best for someone. what's the basis of anyone commenting that they are better than someone? looks? financial status? car model? level of kindness? generosity? job description? ...i admit i do that sometimes as well, telling to myself that i am better than my ex's new girl, or that i am better than our class valedictorian, etc. etc. and i'd be a hyprocrite if i say that i don't base it on looks and grades. however, i've only done it on those scenarios. for everything else, i can never say that i am better than anyone. not because i am a nice person, but because i can't really think of anything i am good at.

my then-boyfriend asked me once: "what's your talent?" and i paused thinking. i love to read, i am anal in proof-reading articles, i blog, used to join academic debates, i like dancing, billiards and poetry. the list can go on and on but neither of them can pass as a talent. a talent is an activity that you are exceptionally good at, and i am not a poetry genious nor a professional blogger. back in my school days i am very active in extra curricular activities, but most of them are academic contests. don't get me wrong, i am an above average student but definitely not a science or math whiz. i don't play any musical instrument and not engaged in any sport. i am good at several things, but my skills are NOT exceptional.

having said that, should i come to the conclusion that i may only be second-best to everything?

is that the reason why i still haven't met my prince? is it because i look for the best when i myself isn't even good enough for others?

---nag-iinarte mode, pardon my blog entry tonight. lol

new found-friend

today i made a good friend. he lost his pet bubba, plays soccer, works @ subway, and uber nice. i am online most of the time when i'm at home, and i never ever talk to strangers. i don't know what's gotten into me today that i decided to respond to a pm from a stranger. he turned out to be more than okay, and finding myself laughing and smiling for like 4 hours.

i used to laugh at people when they chat with people they don't know, but now i ended up doing it myself. well, maybe i'm just lucky that the guy isn't a psycho and he really wants to be just friends unlike most guys out there. i understand that the web is such a very dangerous place to be with, but my instincts never failed me yet and i'm not in cyberspace to fill in the missing pieces of my real world.

hey mike, thanks for the time buddy. i really really hope that you're not a psycho. kidding. :)

talk to you soon.

things i learned today.

i spent my entire day today online. i do leave from time to time to eat, play with kiann and laugh with my sibs, but when i am home i usually spend my time in front of my pc.

i've got a number of interesting findings today after spending more than 18 hours of going online:

1. obamamania

- you are not going to believe a lot of barack obama's merchandise being sold on the net today! there's obama toilet paper, obama bottled water, obama barrettes, and... catch this: obama dildo. the "Head of State" dildo is available in two colors: democratic blue and presidential gold. how's that for a "Change?" =)

2. cosmic latte

- beige is the color of the universe, according to a team of astronomers from john hopkins university. the heximal RGB value for cosmic latte is #FFF8E7.

3. angel lust

- you can still have an erection once dead. a death erection is a post-mortem erection which occurs when a male individual dies vertically or face-down with the cadaver remaining in this position. during life, the pumping of blood by the heart ensures a relatively even distribution around the blood vessels of the human body. Once this mechanism has ended, only the force of gravity acts upon the blood. as with any mass, the blood settles at the lowest point of the body and causes edema or swelling to occur; the discoloration caused by this is called lividity.

4. pricey charice

- and so i was browsing ticketnet website bec i've been contemplating since last week on how will i manage to be in cebu and watch boyz ii men at the same time. i was kinda surprised to find out that tickets for charice pempengco's concert is actually more expensive than that of boyz ii men! that girl's voice is indeed powerful and i actually liked her, but sure not more than boyz ii men. maybe it has something to do with the group's sponsor or something??

5. sex in the middle ages

- anything other than the common “missionary position,” was considered unnatural and a sin, according to the Church. the woman on top position, or entering her from the rear (sex a tergo) were not favored because they interfered with the natural order of male-female roles. anal and oral sex were sins because they could only be practiced for pleasure, not procreation, which for the purists was the only purpose of sex.

- lesbianism is a sin according to the book of gommorah. sodomy was punishable by death, which could involve mutilation, burning at the stake, hanging, and, in the case of priests caught in the act, being hung in a suspended cage until they starved to death.

- the Church actually approved of prostitution. ironically, the practice was regarded as a way of preventing adultery and homosexuality on a larger scale, so it was viewed a necessary evil.

6. brittany flickinger is paris' bff no more

- i thought that when paris hilton launched a new season of the reality show, she's still good friends with brit and that calling brit a 'hungry tiger' is just part of the intro. but after reading brit's blogs, paris apparently dumped her and the next day a casting for "paris hilton's my new bff" season 2 began. i liked brit so much bec she's funny and pretty and sings really well. but i am surprised to know that she actually thought that she'd be bestfriends for long with paris. that blondie has no brains and is so fake for heavens sake. brit: you deserve so much better than that. just be thankful to paris for letting you win the show, but other than that? you have so much more to offer than be paris' personal assistant. hmp!

7. hot guys and nice guys are two different people

- they can never be one and the same. 'nuff said.

lost.

okay, i've been busy doing too much stuff lately, mostly for work, but at the end of the day why do i feel like i haven't done anything at all?

i never understood people who leave because they want to "find themselves." anyone who really knows me is aware that it's CHANGES that i hate most in the world. i hate people leaving, changing environment, awkward moments with people you just met. but now, i suprisingly do. you know the feeling of having empty laughs with people surrounding you? and that everytime you accomplish something it seems that it's not enough? like you're not sure if it's someone that you're looking for or just plain something else. i've been a lot like that lately and i'm not sure if it's driven by the heavy workload i have at the office or the fact that i refuse to go out with friends and socialize. and it doesn't help either that the people i'm always with are saying the same thing...that they're not happy anymore and desperately wants change. okay, i'm not that desperate, but i definitely want change. i want to meet new people, do different things, go in a different environment. i want to go out of my comfort zone and try my luck elsewhere.

i know that i want to get out of this daily routine but i have no idea where to go from here. i don't know what i want, who i wanna be with, where to go...but i just know i have to figure it out now.