Dear You,
When I think of you, I always get this mixed emotions. First, I feel really stupid for imagining someone that only exists inside my head. Then, it excites me because I know that someday my long-time search will eventually be finished and we can finally start living "the dream." But in the end, just like the rest of the girls who writes letters to "the man they will love someday," I also can't help but wonder if you really exist.
You see, I am not the easiest girl to date. I am way too far from being your ideal girl either. So unlike other girls who are confident enough that they will find someone, I fear that someone like you who will be attracted to someone like me don't exist. But then again, if a poor man can suddenly be a millionaire overnight by winning the lottery--it doesn't hurt to believe that someday I will hit the jackpot and be someone's princess too.
There are things you will not know about me in the beginning. Just like you, I will show you my best sides first and will be in my best behavior. But as early as now, I want to be honest and tell you that I did some things in the past that I am not proud of. There are secrets in my life and you may not like some of them. What I am hoping is that you, the man of my future, will still see me as a treasure despite all the junk that comes with the package.
Future man, I have met a lot of toads in the past so forgive me if I may be skeptical about you at first. There are things you will have to accept about me and the life I live and I would rather find out in the beginning if you are capable of trying. I ask that you will tell me early on before my heart gets too involved. Because to tell you frankly, I am not sure if I can afford another heartbreak. I know it seems a lot to ask but don't worry, I will give the same to you.
I ask too--that you do not expect me to change the traits that make me who I am. I am not perfect, nobody is. There will be times that I will be stubborn, lazy, or impatient. When that happens, I ask for your patience. One thing I can assure you though is that I will not ask you of anything more than you can give.
I am proud to tell you that I make a great friend, and I look forward to our long talks, may it be funny or meaningful ones. It may sound silly but I used to dream of us sitting outside Starbucks having coffee, while checking out awesome cars, pretty girls or cute guys that pass by. I imagine us hanging out in the living room eating popcorn, with you trying to steal the remote from me and changing the channel to ESPN. Or me trying to cook up a simple dinner for us on Valentines Day while you pretend to like it and tell me that it's delicious.
You will be the man of my future. That is the only thing I am sure of. I may know you already or have yet to meet you someday, either way I am just as thrilled. But even though I am excited to start my forever with you, you must know that I am not in a hurry to meet you. I don't want to rush things because I don't want us to be just like any other couples who easily give up when trials come their way. I want to know you at the time when we're both ready for each other. No matter how long it takes.
Please promise though, that you will never give up looking for me. Because even though I sometimes doubt your existence, I will never stop searching for you.
With hopes that I will be yours for always,
Kat
