Taking Personal Drama to the Internet

What is Internet Drama?

Internet drama, in my personal definition, refers to the irrational broadcasting of personal issues on the Interweb. Since the Internet has completely changed our modern life, our dependency with the web has impacted our ways to deal with personal issues. It doesn't matter if it's work, family or relationship problems -- as soon private grievances start to go public via Facebook or Twitter, things can automatically turn ugly in a snap.

Case in point: During a recent breakup, a distraught ex can do or say things on their Facebook walls that they'd never do face-to-face. They use harsh words, throw accusations out of misery, try to illicit jealousy, or seek revenge in a multitude of other ways. Mutual friends are abruptly excommunicated, and pictures are suddenly untagged from each other's albums. You might immediately change your relationship status to single and wait till your wall is bombarded with questions about the breakup -- aggravating the virtual salt that continue to rub into very real wounds.



While some people just can't help it, I think it's safe to say that most of us wants to avoid Internet drama and not stoop to online lows. If you are one of us, here are a few tips that may help whenever you're in the brink of announcing to the world that your ex is a pathetic psychopath:

1. Use the reverse psychology. If your ex just can't help it but publicize every little thing you guys went through, remember that there's no better comeback than a silent treatment. Let him talk, while you maintain your silence and continue to tweet positive things. Soon, your mutual friends will realize who is the biggest loser.

2. Take advantage of Facebook's security settings. It is there for a reason. Sick of someone who constantly complain about her misery? Hide their feeds so you won't see them anymore. Fighting with someone? Hide your wall or just completely block him/her. Do whatever it takes until you get that peace of mind you surely deserve.

3. Stop online stalking. This normally happens after a breakup, you track your ex's whereabouts, newly added friends, constant Twitter buddy, etc. You have to understand that stalking is a compulsive, unsatisfying behavior and will only leave you feeling emptier especially if your ex has clearly moved on before you. Instead of stalking, why not use your energy to reconnect with friends or find new hobbies and interests?

4. Resist publicizing EVERYTHING! Your closest friends already know who you're dating, your family is already aware of your financial issues, and your colleagues are very much aware how much your work sucks -- therefore, there's no need to trumpet them every chance you get. Just because you can share everything on Facebook and Twitter doesn't mean you should.

5. Have common sense. Facebook is a social networking tool, not an online diary. Therefore, being an open book to everyone and announcing to the world how much your ex-boyfriend hurt you is not gonna benefit anyone. Simple, vague comments are okay, but don't let the technology shadow your emotional intelligence. Online battles are for 3rd graders, and if your ex won't stop posting negative comments about you, simply unfriend him and pray that his sanity be restored soon.

Sharing too much information on the Internet can be messy and humiliating. No matter how bad the situation is, or no matter how much you want the other person to be humiliated, always remember that this public drama reflects poorly on you. Avoiding many of the soap operas that flare up on Facebook or Twitter does not only give you peace of mind, but will also project a sense of self-confidence and maturity that most Internet users lack.

Find What You Love

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better & better as the years roll on."
- Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Inc. and of Pixar Animation Studios

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a store cashier. I would turn our living room into a supermarket, put price tags on all our furniture, and my playmate (now my best friend) Kathy would be the pretend-customer. During grade school, I then shifted my interest into being a teacher. My younger brother and sister would be my students and I would "discuss" to them a literary text my teacher actually read to us in class.

As I grow older, I began to enjoy reading novels (from Sweet Valley in 6th grade to Harry Potter in high school) -- and so for the 3rd time I had a change of heart and wanted to become a writer/journalist. But, even though I enjoy writing so much, I did not believe that I should make a career out of it and so in college I took a managerial course instead. After college, I went on to become a technical professional for a large computer company, became a supervisor at 22 y/o, got bored and eventually left.

If I am gonna sum up my career goal into one word, it'll be CONFUSING. I mean, I knew that I want a career in IT and all things geek, I just can't point out what exactly it is. For several years I have this frustration of trying to place myself where I exactly fit in.

I know I am not the only one who had (or is having) this dilemma. Many college students graduating have NO idea what they want to do for living. They just went to college because, well it was the next logical thing to do after high school. Now that they graduated, the real world has shocked them. Their degree is no longer as valuable as they thought it was.

We've all heard it a million times in a million different ways.

"Discover what you love to do."

"Pursue your passion."

"Find work you enjoy doing."

And as cliche as all these sounds, it makes perfect sense. As Steve Jobs said, work makes up a majority of your life so it only makes sense to do the work you like doing and to get paid for doing it as well. One of the keys to happiness — is finding work that you’re passionate about. Work you want to do, instead of just have to do. Because if you really want to do it, it barely seems like work at all.

Thankfully, I’ve finally found that work. I don’t drag my feet to go to work anymore, instead I can’t wait to get up early and start working. I just wish I'd done it sooner, maybe at age 21 instead of 25.

I’m just one of many who’ve done that — there are people all over the world pursuing their dreams, working with passion, losing themselves in their work. Are you one of them? Do you want to be?

Seek what you love to do and be the best you can be at it. Don't settle.

BBM: It's Everything I Love

I don't care if I am already paulit-ulit, but I will say this again: I am a proud Blackberry user. And while I love everything about this phone all-in-one-tool, there is one thing that makes it *hands-down* the best mobile device there is. Two words: Blackberry Messenger (BBM).

According to Wikipedia,  BBM is a proprietary instant messaging application specifically made for Blackberry devices. For me though, BBM is simply "my daily essential." Now I am not gonna go all technical and tell you about the awesomeness of RIM's push technology (which, by the way IS revolutionary) -- but like what the video suggests, BBM is more than just an instant messaging tool.

Imagine you are in Web conference for a potential client: You are in Manila and your potential clients are in Sydney. Your main presenter is in Los Angeles and while listening to his presentation, you realize that he forgot to mention a very important keypoint. You pull out your Blackberry, go to BBM and remind the presenter of the forgotten keypoint. He responds quickly: "Got it." Message sent and received without the investors' knowledge, and the conference moves on to your company's advantage.

Or imagine running an errand for your mom at the mall. She asks you to get her a nice dinnerware set that she'll give as a wedding gift for a family friend. You get to the mall and there are dozens of designs to choose from. You snap a picture of some of the designs, send it to your mom via BBM, and let her decide which one you'll get.

BBM's functionality is for people from all walks of life: it doesn't matter if you are a student, a mother , or a businessman -- having BBM at your fingertips is definitely an asset. Even me, being the half-crazy girl that I am, have my own reasons for loving everything about BBM:

1. It's practical. With almost everyone in my social circle on BB, I rarely use SMS anymore. Also, I can keep typing and hitting send without worrying about being charged per message. Free real-time messaging to loved ones all over the world is now possible, thanks to BBM.

2. You gain friends. Over a year ago I created a Twitter account dedicated to helping people on their Blackberry dilemmas: @BlackberryPhils. With over 900 followers, I became close to a lot of people who share the same passion for Blackberry. So far, BlackberryPhils has 3 BBM groups who are composed of amazing people who help each other out whenever one of us is in BB trouble. :)

3. Reliable on emergencies. Happens to me all the time. I am stuck in the middle of nowhere, some friend or colleague of mine is waiting for me, and the unthinkable happens: Zero balance. Well with BBM, you can say that I don't fret about not being able to contact anyone anymore.

[caption id="attachment_479" align="aligncenter" width="336" caption="Meeting is delayed bec of me, great!"][/caption]

4. It bridges the gap. My boyfriend and I only see each other once a week and BBM is our one and only tool in communicating everyday. And with that "sent" and "read" notification, I feel like I am talking to him face to face. Who says instant messaging have to be impersonal? :)

[caption id="attachment_477" align="aligncenter" width="346" caption="Yeah, my boyfriend's awesome like that. ;)"][/caption]

5. Finally & most importantly, everything is instant. Of all the instant messengers I have tried over the years, BBM is the ONLY thing that lives up to the word instant. We all live in a fast-paced environment (Hello Manila!) and being always on-the-go, BBM is a must for me (and everyone else) who needs to chat, send photos, audio files or documents instantly! I used to procrastinate all the time but BBM practically pushed me to become time-conscious.

[caption id="attachment_344" align="aligncenter" width="640" caption="Getting busy BBM-ing people. From L-R: Bold 9700; Bold 9000 & Pearl Flip 8220."][/caption]

My list can go on and on but I prefer you guys to go get one and see it for yourselves. Be part of Team Blackberry and discover how BBM can turn your mobile phone into a fail-proof communication device.

BBM: Communicating just got social & natural.

BBM -- you know I love you, xoxo. ;)

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On Loneliness

Of all the negative emotions, people seem most reluctant to admit to loneliness. It is often viewed by oneself as a character weakness and with a sense of shame. But then again, each one of us go through it at one point or another as it is a part of living in an imperfect world.

Now I honestly don't know if I am only imagining it, but I have always felt a little out of place with everyone. It doesn't matter who I'm with: friends, colleagues, or even with family. It's as if I don't fit in no matter where I am. I feel like Jenny Humphrey living in the Upper East Side. An outsider. Maybe because I am anti-social and a snob at times. Maybe because I am not the type who would take the initiative to introduce myself and make friends with new people. Because of this, I have grown to believe that people seemed uninterested to get to know me -- and that I am not worth being friends with.

It's not that I don't have any friends. I do. I also have the most supporting family anyone could ever ask for. But still, I am brave enough to admit that I grew up lonely. I did. And a lot of times, I still feel that way. Sometimes I feel that people around me are just forced to be nice to me -- and that my folks put up with my oddness because well, I'm their daughter.

Some may think that I am overreacting. Maybe I am. Maybe this is just something I made up in my head. Maybe I have always lowered my expectations on being socially accepted so as not to be disappointed. Or maybe I am simply not satisfied with who I've become. I wouldn't know. Or maybe, I refuse to know.

Whatever it is though, I feel lonely. I have a feeling that I probably always will. And while this realization saddens me, a part of me know that I am used to it. Maybe that's why I blog all the time, lock myself in my room on my free days and resort to all these social networking sites to see the world.

There's no point to this, really. It's just one of those days wherein I feel a little lonely and sad and decided to use my blog to let it out. I know I am a little crazy for sharing something this personal to everyone, but hey. Maybe you feel the same way. And if you do, well -- don't feel so bad. I feel it too.