I have always been insecure of how I look. Maybe this is partly because I hang out a lot with friends who are models and stylists and I sometimes feel a little awkward when the topic is all about fashion and beauty. Because I was never that kind of girl. I always dress for comfort and rarely put makeup on, heck I even hate shopping -- it was just not my thing.
Anyway, over the past couple of months I have gotten used to people coming up to me and tell me how fat I've become. At first I really don't mind, because it is true. I really did gain a LOT of weight since 2009 and most people who knew me back in grade school and high school were surprised to see me because I used to be buto't balat before.
However, gaining weight and telling me that I am close to obesity is a different story. Being insecure that I am, you can then imagine my reaction when someone commented on my Facebook photos and said that I am overly fat and that my older pics are better than the recent ones. I was never really that sensitive on things like that (because like I said, I really DID gain weight), but I guess it's a little sickening to hear it every now and then and I find it rude to sort of slap it to my face every chance they get.
I am "too fat?" Seriously?? I may not be skinny, yes, but I'm not fat either. The media may bombard us with Kim Chiu-thin bodies but I am not falling for that kind of craze. I have curves. And it is irritating to think that there are people out there who consider my fuller figure to be "too fat." I love to eat, and maybe if I lose the rice -- my waistline will go down to 26 instead of the current 29, but I am not OBSESSED to achieve that goal. Bottomline is, I am not in perfect shape, but I am not at my worst.
And as much as I wish I could rock today's fashion like a size 2 or size 3 model, I don't actually want to be skinny. I mean, do I look the way I want to look? No, I don't. But given this or my figure five years ago, I'd gladly refuse to turn back time. I may not have the ideal body that everyone drools over, but I am OKAY with it. So I don't get it why some people seem to have a problem with it.
That’s enough for me. I’ve spent too much of my life putting myself down. I’m not going to do it anymore.
