“I Need to Find Myself. K’bye!”

“Hey listen, things went too fast between us. I am not ready yet, I just need to find myself.”

Oh, I see. We can’t date right now because the timing is off for you. Okay, I’ll take the bait on this one, chief.

Send me a postcard from, you know.. wherever you’re going.

Wait, you’re not going anywhere??

I had a long talk with a friend who is going through with this hell-we-are-all-familiar-with dilemma. It has always wondered me why some men tend to be uber-dramatic and tend to give reasons no one really have a decent answer to. It then got me thinking, what actually happens when you “find yourself?”

Is there place where a box is hidden that contains your entire personality and the secret to unveiling true happiness?

No? No box?

Then you must be waiting for some sort of confirmation email. Something like “Congratulations! You have finally found yourself. Feel free to end your selfishness and start considering others feelings again.”

Hmmm… Still no?

Then by any chance you’d want to tell me what’s going on around here? Because you and I both know that you’re BS-ing me.

Oh, what’s that? You’re seeing someone else?

That’s what I thought.

“I just need to find myself.”

Talk about broadness and non-specificity. I myself have heard that one too many times so I know that that’s the most cliché line there is. People use it despite the fact that we all know that we never truly know who we really are on a permanent level. Isn’t it that human beings were thought to spend their entire lives searching for their self-purpose and worth? So why would a lifelong search keep us from committing with someone?

Though I get it that not all the time cheating happens, it’s pretty straightforward that something else is going on that is driving them away – prompting them to give the lamest excuse known to mankind. People who use this are cowards and a-holes who can’t think of a legit reason to walk away on someone. What a shame.

Finding yourself you say? Well, I hope you never do. K’bye!

Text Fights: 5 Reasons Why They Suck.

Texts start off fine: “Hi babe! I just woke up. Love you!”

You start exchanging chitchats for a bit, and then for whatever reason, something someone says triggers the fight.. “You went WHERE last night??”

…and then it begins.

Since the era of text messaging began, I have been in one too many text fights – either with my then-boyfriend, my mom, my brother, my best friend, the list is endless. One good thing about text fights is that you can stop and think about what you are about to say to the other person without having the pressure of them impatiently waiting for you to answer back. But, even though I sometimes engage myself into one, I do understand how they’re wrong and not helpful for the fight:

1. It’s more hurtful than intended. There are just some people who are bad in putting their words together on paper (or text). When we email, text or write to someone, we tend to exaggerate things – as compared when we were talking in person wherein we try to be nice as we watch the other person’s reaction. But since in texting we don’t see them, we might not realize how much our statement hurt them.

2. Too much hassle. Since we bring our phone with us ALL the time, text fights can be a real pain in the ass. I remember having to work and get all distracted because I keep glancing at my phone for new messages. That’s why I seriously support companies who forbid their cellphones at work. Replying during a text fight just consumes 5 minutes of your productivity each and every time.

3. Miscommunication. Let’s face it. Sometimes someone says something and we can’t figure out what the hell they meant by that. Is he angry? Was that sarcasm? Without hearing the tone of voice and seeing their body language, it’s so much easier to misconstrue what the other person is trying to say.

4. No take-backs. When fighting, we sometimes get caught up in the moment and say things we don’t mean. When you are fighting in person, those harsh words are sometimes forgotten in the frenzy of all that’s said. But in text fights, you or the other person can go back to the previous messages on the phone and be reminded of all the messed up things you guys said to one another. And you may end up fighting all over again.

5. It’s plain & blunt useless. After a long exchange of harsh words to each other, one usually just ends up calling the other person or going to the person to fight face to face. What happened to working out our issues in person?? Have we really become that impersonal to hide behind our phones in cases of conflict? It’s just too emotionless.

I hate it, and yet I still do it. Ugh.

Friends Are the Family We Choose.

With every trial that each one of us is going through, having trusted friends around is the greatest blessing one could ever think of. This entry is my way of appreciation to the best people around me who stuck with me through thick and thin. I have lots of friends SOBRA, some have disappointed and hurt me, but these people stand out among the rest because I have done the worst in the land and they still embrace me with so much respect. They are the people I know will never turn their backs on me the moment I tap them. I am so so proud and grateful for them. :)

Here we go!

Marie Katherine Anne Navarro – Kathy is my very first friend in the land. We’ve known each since I was four and she was three. As a kid I’m a really shy person and she’s the outgoing one. I can’t imagine my childhood without her! We went through a lot of hard times together, partly because we are somehow related (her brother and my cousin are married) and she’s practically a sister to me. She used to be immature (she admits that), but now we’ve taken our friendship to the next level and I just know that she’s that one person who’ll stand by me no matter what.

Dunn Hill Malait – I met Dhan back in eTelecare more than 3 1/2 years ago. I admit I’m a snob when I joined our team back then but Dhan was the one who made me feel welcome along with Roselle, our kikay friend. Since then we’ve become inseparable; he’s one of those friends you would totally love to have because he never fails to make you laugh every single day you’re with him! We rarely see each other now because both of us have different careers already but it never stopped us from communicating every once in a while to check how each one is doing. Our friendship is really EPIC. I love him to the bone.

Ann Borbolla – She’s the epitome of what you call a TRUSTED FRIEND. She is never plastic, tells you right as it is, and a really really bubbly person too. I love talking to her all the time because she always makes me feel good about myself even though I have done something awful. Ann knows most of the trials that have come my way this year and she never gets tired listening to my woes. She’s the one I miss the most when I left eTelecare, because our working relationship plus the friendship is really great and is something that I will not trade for anything else in the world.

Marvin Legayo – We got close more than two years ago when we found out that we shared the same birthday, and we were inseparable ever since. Marv went through a lot of trials during the first few months of us being close, and I served as his Safeguard conscience to put it simply. Hehe. We might not talk that much this year, but I know he will always be my “kakampi.” To be honest I sometimes don’t like talking to him because he always makes me feel guilty about myself – he can see right through me and it can get freaky sometimes. Still, I trust him and he’s the best berdey ever.

Jevriel Baes – This is Jev, and I’m so grateful that we are close. He’s the type of friend who has complete balance over his friends. Some people might get stressed that their friends are not okay with each other, but Jev is not. He respects every one as a person and does not makes things worse by spilling each one’s secrets. Trusting someone is by gut-feel, and with Jev, I know I made the right choice. His simple “Hi friend, how are you?” at least twice or thrice a week means a lot to me, because I feel that I am never alone. He has this weird vibe going on wherein he always knows that I’m not okay and then suddenly texts me with feel-good quotes. If I have to grant total nirvana to one friend for a lifetime, it’s gonna be him.

Alain Guinmapang – He’s everybody’s friend. And I’m not exaggerating. I guess he’s the most liked person I know because he’s sincere with everything he say or do. I will never forget our one on one drinking session before and I just poured everything to him – and he listened like an older brother. What I like about him is how everyone thinks that he’s a role model, but he just laughs and tells me his flaws – making me feel that it’s alright to make mistakes. I idolize him as person – Alain has a good heart.

Jann Benedict Ty – Meet my most complicated best friend in the world. Jibay (or Bene) is one of the oldest friends I have, knowing him since fourth grade. We just got close few years ago and we share a lot of kabaliwan together. He must have known the MOST STUPID and UNACCEPTABLE things I did and he always just laughs at me like it was the most normal thing in the world. He goofs around a lot, but when he’s serious, he has the most sensible advice to give each and every time. I admire his maturity in life (even though people think otherwise) and his ability to treat the girl he loves like a princess. His happiness is addicting.

Marie France Castillo – Neng and I have a looong history together as friends. What I love about her is that she’s probably the most thoughtful friend I have. When she moved to France back in 6th grade, she would snail mail letters to all her friends and tell us how sad she were being away with us. She’s the type who’d rather listen to you than talk about herself. Our friendship has moved up a notch especially that she’s now carrying my godson. Through my best times and worst times, Neng never left the picture – and I know she never will.

Mhia Malang – Mhia is a loyal friend. When she say that she’s your friend, trust me – she will stay true to that. The word friendship really means a lot to her, and she is never plastic. She’s really makulit and can get irritating at times LOL, but I’d rather have a makulit but honest friend rather than miss tahimik but talks trash behind your back. One single text to her that I am depressed and she’s on my way to my house to bring me my happy food. It sucks though that her good intention over the people she care about sometimes get misinterpreted. I’m lucky that I am one of the very few people who saw the best in her.

Kristian Joyce Antonio-Jaraplasan – And lastly, here’s Nene. She’s my sister, my confidante, my personal shopper, my best friend. We used to fight like crazy but I guess our maturity knew better than that now. I can’t imagine my life without her – she knows me to the bone. I am grateful to God that she is my sister, but more so, I am grateful that she is the mother of my most beloved godson Kiann. She looks out for me because she knows that I have the most unfortunate love life in the world, LOL. Every friend of mine can vanish BUT her.

Having these guys around is enough reason for me to feel truly blessed. Do you have friends whom you’re confident that will never turn your back on you too? Feels so good right? :)

TTYL!

Back to Memory Lane in #SentiSabado.

Last Saturday, Sept. 4, Pinoy tweeps recalled their childhood yesteryears over Twitter via hashtag #sentisabado (Sentimental Saturday). Pinoys all over the world enjoyed reminiscing their grade school days so much that #sentisabado even become a trending topic that day.

I don’t have Internet the entire Saturday and I am mostly asleep in the afternoon until midnight since I went out for a drink early morning so I wasn’t able to participate; but backtracking the tweets of the people that I follow made me smile since I can relate so well! This sort of trip down to memory lane was first made by Bob Ong in his book “ABNKKBSNPLAKo?!” – and now, it looks like it’s gonna be a trend every Saturdays for Pinoys in Twitterverse.

Let’s take a look at some of the posts by celebs that I follow on Twitter:

Don’t you just love Twitter? It’s my one and only source of NEWS, CHISMIS, QUOTES, and now…CHILDHOOD MEMORY REMINDER. I guess what made this event such a hit is because it all made us smile on how simple life were ten to fifteen years ago. I’ll do a detailed trip to memory lane next week on my next post once I join in the fun this Saturday.

Till next Saturday’s episode of #SentiSabado!!

TTYL!

The Curious Case of the Jocks Addicted.

It’s a modern day anti-romance: Boy meets girl, boy hooks up with girl, girl falls for the boy, boy leaves and moves on to other girls, girl cries and becomes obsessed with the boy. Pretty classic right? On scenarios like this, who hasn’t heard of the saying excuse “Don’t hate the player, hate the game?” It made me think, “why the hell not??”

Truth be told, when a guy is unattainable or uninterested, girls go gaga and makes us want him even more. Taken or uninterested men appeal desirable to us more than they actually are simply because are brains are wired to want things that are hard to get. As they say, IT’S THE THRILL OF THE CHASE, baby!

Case in point: Ever wanted a sold-out handbag? Say, a limited edition LV Takashi Murakami Neverfull? You buy tickets to the only event that will sell that right? I believe it’s what they call “frustration-attraction.” The fact that the guy is an insensitive jock and the belief that he can change all because of your undying love just amplifies your lust. Well, guess what honey – he can, but he won’t.

But of course, persistent the lil critter that you are – despite the sudden silent treatment, you still text, call & email. After a couple of ignored texts, you still give reasoning for their failure to respond: “No load?” “Maybe he’s sleeping..” “He’s prolly at work.” ..and this goes on and on until you get tired and finally admit it to yourself: you’re expired my dear – GAME OVER. It hits you with the realization that if you are important to him, he will make the time (READ). But he didn’t. Ouch. It’s like the end of a wrestling match: Total smack down.

Why do we keep on thinking about the one who isn’t thinking about us? Have we noticed that we may be losing our self-esteem and in the long run, our self-respect too? Is it really that important to be validated and liked by the person who didn’t appreciate us the first time around? “Maybe he misses me and will change na coz he doesn’t wanna lose me..” Will we ever stop trying to figure out why he’s suddenly hot-and-cold (aside from the obvious reason that he’s a slut)?

Instead of blaming the game, yes – blame him. Tell yourself that it’s his loss, not the other way around. And instead of envying the “flavor of the night,” feel bad for her because people don’t change overnight. Insensitive jocks and players have a loooooooong history to go (READ). Why? Because they are the masters of their own game – and you are just a “saling pusa.”

Never forget that women are made to be confident and intelligent. Confident enough to believe that you deserve better; and intelligent enough not to repeat the same mistake twice.

GO GIRL POWER!

 

TTYL!