Good Enough to Stay or Bad Enough to Leave?

One of the most nerve-wracking stages in a relationship is knowing when to stay or when to cut ties and end things. For most of us, it is very confusing since every relationship goes through its ups and downs. I can't speak for everyone, but there are just some things that are sort of a deal-breaker for me. It's like, "you do this and we're done." I am not saying that I am a perfect partner, I am not. In fact, I am way imperfect that I sometimes feel I'm not even "datable." But the thing is, I am a very logic-oriented person, and I tend to mentally tally the pros and cons of my relationships, whether romantically or in friendships.

Most relationship experts agree that this not a very good approach in making a sound decision because there will always be pros and cons and determining which is "more heavier" is nearly impossible. A much better way is to look at the relationship through more realistic measures and decide from there. The problem with this approach though is how will you know which ones to measure? Might work for some, but not for me.

As this blog has constantly proven everybody, I have been in a series of failed relationships and I know I am not the perfect person to even discuss things like this. But even so, I do know that at some point in a relationship, sometimes the initial chemical infatuation you once felt will fade and resurface often. You're not going to have butterflies in your stomach every time your partner kisses you and sweet text messages will not be as kilig at all times.

The lines begin to blur when the relationship isn't awful, but not the way we want either. As Basha once said "What if we're not growing together anymore? What if nagttiyaga tayo sa ganito, sa safe, sa ok lang?" I am sure majority of us can relate right? So I ask you, what makes you hold on? What will make you leave?

I have listed down mine, but I think this is pretty universal. These are only some of the things I can think of now, so I can say that this is still incomplete (will try to update if I do remember more, lol). Bear in mind though that even if I think that this may apply to all, this is just my personal list and as I have said-- I can't speak for everyone. Read on:

I am staying if...

• I am happy majority of the time and always look forward to being with him. (Ummm, obviously)

I will give it a chance if...

• Something happened that made our relationship rocky, and compromise has been set. (Open communication is the key)
• Simple jealousy from either side and both are willing to talk it over.
• I or he is unhappy for several weeks due to boredom or dullness of the relationship. (Try to come up w/ something to make the relationship exciting)

I will seriously consider leaving if...

• Being with him just doesn't excite me anymore for more than a month already.
• I feel unloved or taken for granted and have addressed the issue but with no effort from him to make me feel better.
• Petty fights pretty much describes the 70% of the time I'm with him.

I will leave IMMEDIATELY if..:

• He physically or verbally abuses me. (No way in hell!)
• He cheats on me. (I will never tolerate infidelity)
• He threatens to commit suicide if I leave him.
• He's into drugs and is not doing anything to resolve it.
• He disrespects any of my family members and friends.
• My family/friends disapprove of him greatly and can list legitimate reasons why.
• Either of us cannot look past the mistakes for a reasonable amount of time. (Sumbatan all the time is a no-no.)
• He attempts to control my personal or religious beliefs.

How about you, what made you end your previous relationships? Have you ever been in an "okay lang" relationship? What is your limit on staying with someone and what is considered a non-negotiable boundary for you? Ang dami kong tanong, haha! Anyway, you get the idea. I am curious.

Thoughts?