rude awakening.

i am awake. wide awake. Ü

i don't accept the person i'm becoming and i have now decided to take a U-turn.

to be honest, i've lost count on how many times i told somebody this line: "hey, i don't do this everyday trust me." it's as if i've been doing a lot of new (and daring) stuff lately that i feel i am going to regret if i make it a habit. this has happened before, and it totally destroyed me. i won't let history repeat itself and i am saving myself from eternal damnation. (okay, that was way overboard, but that's how i feel!)

no single person in this world who sees the entire picture of what was going on with me right now, but several people know bits and pieces of it and everyone is saying the same thing: diss it and start with a clean slate. i admit i am not ready to diss the "people involved" but i am so ready to diss who i am this past few months. and if they get in the way, then maybe it's really time to say bye-bye for them.

what the hell, i am young and should even be partying not moping around for some stupid problems i shouldn't have!