internet addiction.

i want to write but i can't think of a suitable topic to write about. weird. i used to be a writer (a dumb writer. lol) and i love to put into paper anything under the sun. but now, i can't sleep and i want to write and i'm prolonging my intro that doesn't even make any sense! :)

i have nothing to upload on my multiply. no new messages on friendster. finished cleaning up my mail. no new episode of gossip girl. bidding on ebay still on going. done revamping my blogspot layout. done editing my brother's resume. everyone is on "i'm mobile" in yahoo messenger. not in the mood to watch a movie. already sworn to myself not to open cabal. so what now?

my total hours in front of my pc today is about 11 hours. i just stopped to go and meet dy about 5pm. we just had coffee at starbucks santana grove, stayed home and watched tv for a couple of hours. after he left, i'm here in front of my trusty computer again. i am so computer-dependent, i could feel the radiations in my brain already. my day won't be complete without entering the cyberspace even just for 5 minutes (make it at least an hour.Ü). i always freak out if i don't have a connection, and not only once have i yelled a globelines agent on the phone due to no connection or slow internet speed.

can somebody please tell me if i'm sick?

actually, there is a clinical study on internet addiction and a set of questions has been provided as a screening instrument for addictive internet use:

1. Do you feel preoccupied with the Internet (think about previous on-line activity or anticipate next on-line session)?
   
2. Do you feel the need to use the Internet with increasing amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction?
   
3. Have you repeatedly made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop Internet use?
   
4. Do you feel restless, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop Internet use?
   
5. Do you stay on-line longer than originally intended?
   
6. Have you jeopardized or risked the loss of significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the Internet?
   
7. Have you lied to family members, therapist, or others to conceal the extent of involvement with the Internet?
   
8. Do you use the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a dysphoric mood (e.g., feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, depression)?

according to the study, those who answered "yes" on five or more of the criteria were classified as addicted internet users. honestly? i am guilty on four. yeah, i know. i'm on the verge. but prior to answering those questions, i'm already a self-confessed addict. although it bothers me a bit since this is still considered gambling. gambling in a sense that it is considered an impulse-control disorder which does not involve an intoxicant. a behavioral addiction. a disorder. and every disorder needs to be cured.

do i want to be cured?

i think i'll research more about it online, tomorrow perhaps? because now i need to check the items i'm bidding on ebay.Ü